well, jason and libby r moved into their 1st house as a married couple now. its exciting.

ice age the meltdown is the best movie ever.. 'that puts the stink in extinction.' lol.

 im still sad about mandy and bubba, thatll never change. i think about them all day everyday.

baking class is making me fat, lol. 

i rented brokeback mountain today, i wonder if its good.

im getting an assistant dog next summer. kinda excited.

my parents wanna move to a maintenance-free home. boo. . lol.

zelda is coming out for gamecube in june, yay. so far i have saved... 2 bucks lol.

k im gonna go watch tv. bye.

                                       carmen

well.. not much great stuff goin on.. still sad.. i think about mandy and bubba every day, every second. im back to sleepin in my bed, i still wake up everynite thinkin mandys at my feet, i havent slept a full night since before she left me. i try to take my mind off it, but everything reminds me of her and bubba. every movie i watch that has even the tiniest sad part in it makes me cry now. lol.  i watched an old tape of me and bubba from when we were little a few weeks ago, i paused the tape at the perfect view of his face, smiling, living life to the fullest out there playin basketball and winnin race after race in that speedy wheelchair. by lookin at him it seems like he was happier than anyone i kno. he's my hero. i dont think he cared that he was in a wheelchair, he still did stuff like everyone else. i look at his pic everyday. and i have like hundreds of pics of mandy all over the place. i still feel alone. but im tryin to be happy. at least i have my friends and family to support me. and i still have tazzy boy. lol.. the best chuhuahua ever. even though he shows me those angry teeth and growls a lot, he makes me happy. and i have titus (jason and libbys puppy doberman thats huge now) whenever jason and libby come over. mandy never got along with titus. neither does taz, its so funny to see titus try to play w/ taz. tazzy gets viscious, but cant hurt titus cuz titus could eat him in one bite lol. well im gonna go watch tv or play sims or sumthin. NO SCHOOL TOMORO.  YAY.. AND KU BASKETBALL IS DOIN GREAT  LATELY.   HAHAHA IM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GLAD ABOUT THAT.

                                        carm

well, more bad stuff has happened since my last entry. my dog, mandy, died monday morning. i thought life couldnt get worst after bubba in ny died. i was wrong.. my puppy, my bestest friend in the world, that i had for 11 years, is gone. monday morning i stayed home from school cuz i had an eye infection. mandy hadnt been doin good since saturday. her legs had given out on her, i couldnt get her to eat or drink. i got up at 6 but decided to stay home, and put her right next to me in my bed.. she died at about 8:35.. she even woke me up right before she died. she put her head on my face for a minute, i woke up and smiled at her and said her name.. the next second, she stopped breathing.. i was home alone except for bein with her.. i wanted to save her. i didnt kno if she was really dead. i got out of bed nd sat by her. i kept sayin mandy, lets go byebye (she always gets up for that and gets all excited).. but i guess she had already died.. my parents came home right away.... i wish i could have saved her. i love her. mandys always been my best friend and my baby, thats what i call her.. my parents said she would have wanted to be with me at the moment she died. she put her head on my face, like she was saying goodbye.. why did she hafta die? did she suffer? did bubba suffer? i cant stop cryin.. im gonna go.. without mandy in my life, i'll never be happy again. she was my life.. that may sound crazy, but its true, she means so much to me. my whole family loved her. she is family. i feel so alone now. i kno ill move on, its just hard..

                                            carmen

well... its been sooooooooooooooo long since i last typed in here. lots of bad stuff has happened since my last entry.. i miss bubba, he was my friend in ny born like me. hes in heaven now, so i guess i should be happy for him. the funeral was so hard. i cried more than i have in a long time. especially looking in at him. i feel so bad for his sister and parents. i just wish it didnt have to happen to him. do u feel pain during aneurisms? do u kno its happening? and the doctors couldnt save him, his mom said they didnt even try. i can only remember him as he was when we were little. 7 and discussing mairrage. its hard to think thatll never happen, me and him. he was the captain of his wheelchair basketball team. he had so many who loved him. especially me. i just hope he knew that. i wish i would have tried harder to keep in touch. ill never forget the last time we spoke, this summer, online and on the phone. we shared love for dr pepper. i dont go one sip of that without thinkin of him. eminem's lyrics to 'when im gone' remind me of him... so does the backstreet boys song 'never gone'. well im gonna go. ill write again soon

                                     carm

Currently Listening On the Line By Various Artists see related

Hey ppl.. this week has been soooooooooo great so far. 'one tree hill' premiere last night was GREAT. i was in shock through some parts. lol. i like the show 'everwood' and its on tonite so im excited. school hasnt been too stressful lately. so thats good. k well not much else to say- i LOVE this cd soundtrack thing. i miss nsync lol. k well im gonna go do homework, then call chels and call amanda. amanda's my GREAT really good friend from camp and she might be MOVIN HERE for college in january. YAY. ttyl.

                                  carmen